Panic! Aaargh! Read Below!

(For a couple of more articles on my site:)
Psychosis
My Thinking Page
Autism
Panic Cure

In October 2002, I was diagnosed with Panic/anxiety disorder - a crippling mental disorder that occurs when (I believe anyway) a whole combination of bad events occur that make you anxious (eg. school/uni marks, relatives, work etc.). It is a disorder that occurs after a month of panic attacks (and you are unable to get over these attacks).

A panic attack is a sudden event (at least it was for me anyway) where the following symptoms may occur: episodes of uncontrollable crying, trembling, shaking, fast heartbeat, feeling like you are about to die (because you don't know what is happening and you mistake your symptoms for a heart attack), confusion, involuntary muscle twitching, and feelings of dread. This attack may last for 15 minutes or more. However, in my case, it started with the crying episodes (which lasted for hours), and then the panic attack occurred spontaneously around midnight when I was asleep). If you continue to have these panic attacks for a month or more, then you DEFINITELY may have panic disorder.

There are a few ways of treating this disorder. According to the medical experts, it is not curable - however it can be controlled. A couple of ways that this disorder can be treated is by drugs (SSRI's or similar drugs), and cognitive behaviour therapy. The panic attacks caused me to develop a fear of sleep (because that was where the first panic attack occurred). I was continually worried about every beat that was a teeny bit above normal - and I was worried about every single little sad thought or ache or pain I had. These fears ironically CAUSED me to have a panic attack!

I believe that the worst part of this disorder is the SYMPTOM SHIFTING. This is when the signs of a panic attack change. As an example - say that you have recognised that a fast heartbeat won't kill you - instead you start worrying about a muscle twitch or something like that. It's pretty tough when you get different symptoms - especially when you thought you were just starting to recover. So, after suffering in silence with these attacks for about a month, I decided that something had to be done. This is the FIRST step to recovery. After going to the hospital for a panic attack (with symptoms of chest pain - which was an example of symptom shifting), I went to my friendly GP. He advised me that an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) called Paxil (paroxetine) is a good drug that will 'cure' the panic attack symptoms. So I said, 'fine - this sounds good'. Paxil has to be taken for about 3 to 6 months, with the full effect of the drug kicking in at around 4 to 6 weeks. So, I started taking this antidepressant for about 4 days. I was excellent - no panic attacks - NOTHING! Then on the fourth night, I got a panic attack. However (this is the stickler for all of the above yarning) - the paroxetine kicked in WHILE I WAS HAVING THE PANIC ATTACK!! I felt the absolute WORST electrical 'zap' sensation instantly. This sensation caused a zappy, electrical, sort of feeling instantaneously throughout my ENTIRE BODY at once. This sensation scared the hell out me, as I wasn't able to control this zap. I also felt sick and was feeling horrible in general. Just when I thought I had a mild sleeping disorder before, now I couldn't sleep at all!!! Every time you think of just one teeny little sad thought, the zap gets ya!!! I endured this by watching TV until I was so tired that I had to sleep at 5 in the morning. After sleeping for a couple of hours, I woke up with a super massive headache that lasted all day. That night, I got these awful zaps again, and after sitting still for 2 hours, I decided that this was indeed too much for me to handle. So, after calling the ambulance, and after listening to them say that 'no, you haven't got low blood pressure and aren't about to die', and 'it's all just your brain playing tricks on you', I did the old watch-TV-and-no-nothing-until-you-forcefully-sleep-for-2-hours-at-5-in-the-morning trick, I decided (and the paramedics also said) to stop taking the drug. It took me 4 long days to stop getting awful 'zaps' all the time.

So after my ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE Paxil period, I had a good old cruise around the Internet and found a BRILLIANT site that helped me recover properly. Its called quit Paxil (www.quitpaxil.org), hence the name. It made me realise that I wasn't the only person out there getting adverse side effects/withdrawal symptoms. I would certainly recommend you all to look at this site, especially if you are planning on Paxil anytime in your life. Then you will realise how hard it is for some people to get off it, and how bad the side effects ARE!!!! Ok, that's enough ANTI-PAXIL yarning for now - and YES - There is a life AFTER Panic Disorder!!! - Just click to my second page below to find out my progress (yes, I don't get any more panic attacks - find out why!) Why I don't Get Panic Attacks Anymore! My Other Diagnoses! By the way, if you want to contact me about this site at all, just email me at kitkatsavvy@gmail.com

***UPDATE 28th March 2008 - FINALLY! There's official proof that BRAIN zaps DO exist! It's been a long time coming, but I have suffered brain zaps since my 20th birthday in September 2002! I knew I was right ALL along - and I KNEW these brain zaps ARE a side effect of antidepressants and more rarely for my antipsychotics! TAKE THAT EVERYONE who didn't believe me!! Proof here - wiki brain zaps!! >>> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_zaps